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masonic ring collage
Stephen Root and Joe Rogan.
NewsRadio (1997)
"Jimmy's case is in the bag. Cause we know something the other side doesn't."
"What's that?"
"That all federal state and local judges are members of a certain obscure sect of the Freemasons."
Jimmy: "Now hold it. Our strategy is that all judges are mason?"
Well, there's more to it than that."
"Like what?"
"Well, there's a secret masonic word which when uttered obligates judges to rule in your favour, Then they have to go paddle each other off in a secret cave somewhere."
"And, what's that?"
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
"Okay, but it had better be good."
"I can't do it."
"Clearly, you're in good hands. Council, good day."
"Wait a minute, here. You're basing my entire case on some silly secret word."
"Mr. James...."
"Come on, Joe, give it up."
Leaning forward and whispers : "Tubalcain."
Jimmy: "Tubalcain?"
Joe: "Shhhh!"
Jim: "Sorry. Tubalcain. What the hell's that mean?"
"Joe: "I have no idea."

Later, at the courthouse:
Court clerk: "Jimmy James versus Kyle Martin Enterprises Inc."
Judge: "Are you Jimmy James?"
Jim: "Yes."
Judge : "And this would be your council?"
Joe: "yes I am. The master builder awaits the pyramids."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I bet you do." [02:01:41]
At the sentencing:
Judge: "Enough, You have successfully proven that you have a large box full of junk. I applaud you. Not since the People versus Junk Yard Jones has a box full of junk been quite so thoroughly documented. In fact if I were this young man, I would countersue you for reckless prosecution. And defamation of character. And for just generally wasting everybody's time. Do you have anything to say in your defence?"
Jim: "Tubalcain."
Judge: "I hereby find in favour of the guy with the box full of junk, and I sentence the kid to one month in a juvenile ward for psychiatric evaluation [02:12:11]
As Joe and Jim congratulate themselves and the defendent is handcuffed, the camera follows the judge as he strides purposefully out of the courtroom, a cricket bat emblazened with a large letter M inside a circle, resting on his shoulder. [00:25:16]

News Radio "Rose Bowl" (1997). 5 February 1997 (Season 3, Episode 15) Directed by Tom Cherones, written by Paul Simms and Alan J. Higgins. Dave Foley, Dave Nelson, Stephen Root, Andy Dick, Maura Tierney, Vicki Lewis, Joe Rogan, Khandi Alexander, Phil Hartman, David Clennon, Glenn Walker Harris Jr., George Lindsey. 30 min, English, Colour, Stereo.


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